supernatural-tardis:

i had a crush on this guy and i decided to pull a Pavlov on him by offering him whenever i saw him  this brand of candy he seemed to really like and after a while whenever he saw me he got excited for a second then you could see his expression shift to wondering the why the hell was he so happy to see me and i swear it was the evilest thing but also the most hilarious i made a guy like me by conditioning him into associating me to a candy he liked

(via ketotron)


94,715 notes



57,839 notes




  • Kidnapper: Get in the fukin van
  • Me: Oh ok cool
  • Kidnapper: Wut
  • Me: This is a febreze commercial right
  • Kidnapper: Wut
  • Me: Smells pretty shitty in here to me tbh

55,878 notes



145,348 notes

thecelestialchild:

jamarrob:

thoughtsareextraordinary:

WOW

my mama always taught us to do this 👌

If anyone needs an idea on how to be discrete… Be safe


grungeisde4d:

this is really selfish but

why can’t mental illness be like any other kind of sickness where you go to hospital and your loved ones come and give you flowers and tell you that they love you and hold your hand and make sure you get better

why doesn’t that happen instead of awkward silences and embarrassing tears and messy bedsheets and a bunch of other stuff no one actually talks about

w h y

I can’t find a single selfish thing in that.

(Source: l1berum, via icandothedistance)


251,403 notes




dickscratch:

sext: pls settle for me

(via icandothedistance)


2,693 notes




feat:

is pushing people away considered a special talent because i think i’m really good at it 

(via icandothedistance)


257,313 notes




bigboobsplustattoos:

i-effed-it-all-up:

songs by florence and the machine make me feel like i need to run barefoot through a misty forest wearing a flower crown

And I fucking love it.

(via ketotron)


110,796 notes




oomshi:

vegay:

dONT BE A TEACHER IF U DON’T LIKE FUCKING KIDS????

this can be taken two ways

(Source: plnts, via icandothedistance)


435,487 notes